


All Around The World

by monkiainen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Pineapples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 22:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16292585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/pseuds/monkiainen
Summary: Luna loves pineapples.





	All Around The World

**Author's Note:**

> For the Saturday Special at hh_sugarquill

Luna's favourite fruit was pineapple, had always been. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to anyone, as pineapples were as unique as Luna – a hard shell with a juicy fruit inside. Sometimes pineapples were sweet, sometimes they were tart, but either way they were Luna's favourites.

In Luna's opinion you could have pineapple with everything, including pizzas. That, of course, was a subject everyone had an opinion of, and usually those who didn't like pineapples in their pizzas were the ones with the loudest voices. Like Ron, for example. Luna loved Ron dearly as a friend, but oh dear how loud he was sometimes! Maybe it was after growing up as the youngest brother of five equally loud brothers, Luna thought. She much preferred silence and calmness over loudness.

Pineapples were also good when you were working with all kinds of creatures; that was something Luna had learned from Newt when she was helping him with his menagerie. Hippogriffs were fond of pineapple juice, and it was considered very polite to offer them some. The best way to get rid of Horklumps was to spray them with pineapple juice as they hated it and would soon depart the garden they had taken over. And of course the best way to calm down the Ukrainian Ironbelly was to offer a whole pineapple to it. Luna's job was so much easier with all the knowledge she had gained from Newt's lessons and notes.

Luna remembers reading from somewhere that in the old times the fresh pineapple was a symbol of wealth amongst Muggles because it was so slow to transport them from the Caribbean Islands. It is funny in a way that a mere fruit would become a status item – and especially a fruit as ugly as a pineapple! Muggles are sometimes funny that way.

For some reason Rolf didn't like pineapples, even though Luna had tried her best over the years to make her husband to appreciate the strange fruit like she did. How could someone not like pineapples? It was a mystery to Luna. According to Rolf it had something to do with texture and sweetness – their combination was something Rolf just couldn't get over and that was that. Oh well. At least their children liked pineapples.

Sometimes Luna would Apparate to see Xenophilius so that they could talk about the more cryptic and unnamed uses of pineapple. Such as how African Wizarding community used pineapple crush mixed with Erumpent musk as a powerful aphrodisiac; or how the disreputable Daily Prophet reporter Rita Skeeter was convinced that bathing two times a day in pineapple juice would keep her young forever. It was pleasant to talk freely about pineapples with someone who appreciated the wonder of the exotic fruit as much as Luna did.

There was one thing though that Luna didn't quite understand: how could someone like crystallised pineapple as much as Professor Slughorn did? Those sickeningly and overly sweet abominations had nothing to do with the pure thing that was pineapple. How odd.


End file.
